The “Burning Ring of Fire”

I’d really like to know who creates the music playlists that I listen too during my radiation treatments because I have a little laugh each time Johnny Cash’s “Burning Ring of Fire” cycles through.

In my previous post (Mannekan Pis) I wrote about how the chemo and preparing for my radiation treatments were affecting my bladder. It’s only fair that I give some attention to what’s happening on the other side.

It has become my own burning ring of fire.

I’m not much for holding back … so be warned … reading below the video is a little … intimate.

Overall, the side effects have been mild … until now.

As the cumulative effects of the radiation start to take their toll things down there are getting uncomfortable.

The first thing that I noticed was redness and itching in the skin folds between my thighs and my genitals. At first I thought this was due to poor hygiene during the first week of treatment, I couldn’t have a shower that week and I was limited to sponge baths from our bathroom sink. However, after two weeks of radiation treatments the area has become more irritated and the itching … at times burning, is now persistent.

On the other end, my anus is constantly itchy.

I have stopped using toilet paper; it’s too rough. I tried using baby wipes but discovered that they contained citric acid and were too painful. I am now rinsing with a squeeze bottle of warm water, the same bottle that new mothers use after delivery (I am finding a lot of similarities to pregnancy with all of this) and using moistened and dry gauze pads to pat myself clean.

I do get temporary relief from both irritations by soaking in a bath of warm water and baking soda for 15 minutes. I usually settle in with my Kindle and read a chapter of my current book being careful not to drop it in the tub.

There are also changes to my bowel movements.

I dread having to go to the toilet.

Being HIV+ I am treated with a lot of medication and I frequently experience diarrhoea. The radiation makes the diarrhoea even worse. Compounded with the raw burning sensation of my anus, bowel movements have become painful. I apply barrier cream, a thick water-based ointment, which offers some protection for the skin from the effects of diarrhoea and incontinence.

I also dread leaving the house.

As if diarrhoea isn’t enough to worry about another side effect is fecal urgency, the sudden urge to have a bowel movement … right now!

I have been maintaining my exercise by walking the six kilometres to and from the hospital each day. Last week, during two of my walks, I had two very close calls where I didn’t think I was going to make it to a public toilet fast enough. I have now altered my route so that I no longer walk through quiet residential neighbourhoods but along streets with accessibility to public washrooms.

There is also the issue of having to maintain a full bladder for an hour before my radiation treatment.

Have you ever noticed that when you have a bowel movement you also urinate?

Imagine if you will, a sudden urge to have a bowel movement, panicking to locate and get to the nearest toilet and halfway through the bowel movement realizing that you are also peeing … and trying to stop the flow or urine.

In one of these episodes I burst a blood vessel in my urinary tract. I didn’t realize it at the time, all I knew was that there was blood in my urine … I was peeing red. I was a bit freaked out by the whole thing and when I arrived at Princess Margaret Cancer Centre I checked myself into the walk-in Radiation Nursing Clinic.

In addition to some urine tests to make sure everything is okay the nurse recommended that I take Imodium regularly. Because of all the HIV medications I take I am reluctant to ingest other medications unnecessarily.  I resist taking things for headaches unless they get really bad.  The nurse was very frank when she said, “Well, you have a choice, Imodium or an accident in the street.” I got it.

She also offered me a diaper to get myself home … just in case.

I drew the line.